I tried out the first 30 Day Shred video today, just to see how it was. It kicked my ass, essentially. I definitely cannot keep up with even the modified moves. But I think I did a good job of sticking with it and taking active rests when I really needed to, and I think I’ll keep with it for at least the next week. I was really pleased with how incredibly sweaty I got — it’s hard for me to push myself that hard on my own, because I only have myself to compare to. So we’ll see if my endurance picks up.
I’ve just about got my daily intake down to a science! I use caloriecount.about.com (the same username over there, if you’re there as well and want to get a free supporter :D) to track all of my intake and exercise. You get a letter grade each day for your nutrition quality, and I get a B or higher every day! I’m inordinately proud. It’s true.
I ran across an article about visualizing and how it can work for fitness and weight loss. I feel like most of the visualization that happens in the “Weight Loss Community” is of the appearance-related sort, or the number-related sort. Finally getting down to 115 pounds. Getting the attention of such-and-such person. Showing all the mean people in your life how hot you are. Looking good on the beach.
I can’t say I really care about any of that, personally, so I had a bit of an existential crisis (although really, when am I not) about why I want to lose weight anyway. For about five seconds I was absolutely certain that I had no clue at all why on earth I might want to lose weight, and it was all just some societal pressure that had finally forced its way into my subconscious.
But actually I want to run. I’ve tried Couch To 5k more times than I’d like to admit, but it simply puts too much strain on my shins and knees and ankles. I want to be able to run without hurting, and without feeling like my lungs are about to come up my esophagus and strangle me for my unusual cruelty to all lung-kind.
I want to play soccer with my friends for more than five minutes. I want to be able to run around in shorts, while playing soccer barefoot in the park for hours, and not feel like I have to stop and without feeling self conscious because my legs are just strong. Without feeling like people are pitying me for having to stop and gasp every few minutes.
So when I’m working out and it’s hard, I think about how awesome my quads and hamstrings are gonna’ be and how long I’ll be able to play soccer someday. When I reeeeaaaally want a second burrito, I think about how I want to run without my ankles giving out.
I do care some about how I look, but I don’t have anyone I’m trying to prove wrong. I have a fiance: no unrequited loves to impress. I live in the Pacific Northwest and only the truly brave (and frostbitten) wear bikinis to the beaches around here. Mostly I just want to be able to run. To find inexpensive jeans in my size. To be able to buy a bra for ten bucks at Target. To feel like I don’t have to hold my head a certain way in order to look passable in photographs. To be able to kick ass and take names and be just as much the superhero as I wish I could be.
The end. That is your affirmation for the day. Go out and be amazing.